When I ask my clients about whom they have their most important conversations many will tell me it’s with their biggest clients, their key team members, sometimes their boss, an owner or board member, some might even tell me it’s a family member like their spouse or their children. While I would certainly agree that these are extremely important, none of these conversations even comes close to the most important conversation that we have… it’s with ourselves.
Think about the conversation you are having with yourself most of the day. I bet there are times when it isn’t a very positive or supportive discussion. When things go badly or don’t work out the way we would like and our “internal ass-kicking mechanism” goes into over-drive, that conversation can be borderline abusive.
It’s during these types of conversations that thoughts of doubt and fear creep into our heads.
“Am I good enough?” “Am I smart enough?” “Do I deserve everything I’ve accomplished?” “Who do I think I am to be in this position?” “When will they all find out that I’m just a fraud?”
If any of these phrases sound familiar please know that you are no alone. Many have these same doubts and fears as this echo chamber of thoughts run through their heads for any multitude of reasons. And let’s face it, sometimes these somewhat negative conversations drove us to be or do things that would never had done if this doubter or skeptic in our head wasn’t telling us we couldn’t do something or be something.
The challenge is, there are times when this conversation can become consuming and is the only voice we ever hear. Wanting to make improvements, slips into never being good enough, the line of success keep moving further out of reach and we always seem to fall short. Never do we get the opportunity to cross the goal line, spike the ball, and do our own funky touchdown dance. This hallowing of any feeling of success becomes a limiter if you ever plan to live a life on purpose and by design.
High performers have an uncanny ability to master this conversation they are having with themselves on a consistent basis. The doubter is then replaced by the enthusiast, the pessimist is supplanted by the optimist and the conversation becomes one of positivity and working towards productive outcomes. This positive conversation opens options and allows for creative solution even in the most difficult times.
Don’t believe for a second that high performers don’t have internal conversations that can sometimes turn in the wrong direction, but the have an awareness of this exact conversation and how it plays out every day in some way shape or form. High achievers embrace these thoughts and recognize it as an opportunity to step in and change the conversation shifting the discussion from unproductive to productive at a moments notice.
This high level of awareness around the conversation you are currently having with yourself and and conversation you would prefer to have with yourself can absolutely be the difference between success and failure in your business, and your life.
This week I would ask you to pay attention to this conversation you are having with yourself. Is it constantly picking you apart focusing on what’s not going right and keeping you from moving in the direction of your goals and outcomes? Or is this conversation supportive and optimistic, giving you the benefit of the doubt, not asking for perfection but for results and ultimately driving you towards your desired goals and outcomes. Believe it or not, the choice is up to you. Make a good one.
The conversation we are having with ourselves quite honestly is the most important conversation we have every day because it’s the only one that can really make a difference.
Cheers to having the “right” conversation
One Quarter Turn at a Time
Thoughts for the week:
If you were as hard on your friends as you were on yourself, would you still have any friends? –Unknown
One good conversation can shift the direction of change forever. -Linda Lambert
You are not your mistakes. They are what you did, not who you are. –Lisa Lieberman Wang
You may be the only person left who believes in you but it’s enough. It takes just one start to pierce a universe of darkness. – Rochelle Goodrich
The most important conversation you have is the one with yourself, because it’s the only was that can truly make a difference. – Coach Tim