Recently I facilitated a session for a leadership team around managing stress in the workplace, which seems to be an extremely popular subject. Stress is inevitable and there is no one way to effectively manage it. Whatever you do that helps achieve the outcome you are looking for while not damaging important relationships is a good strategy.
Many of the strategies we discussed you’ve probably heard at one time or another.
Things like:
Take a step back
Give yourself time process
Practice deep breathing
Shift your focus to something else
Use Gratitude
Journaling
Ask Questions
Slow down
Listen to music
Take a walk or exercise
Then someone mentioned one I hadn’t heard phrased in this way
Find a VENTING BUDDY. I just like the way that sounds.
What is a Venting buddy?
Let’s take a look.
A venting budding is usually someone within your organization, or at least your close circle that you can vent to about whatever and whomever you choose. These are people that completely understand you and what you are going through in you daily experience.
Keep in mind your venting buddy isn’t just someone that agrees with you about everything, but they will absolutely listen to you no matter the situation or circumstances. A true venting buddy has your best interests in mind but will call you on your BS “Belief Systems” when they seem a bit out of whack or unreasonable.
These are the people that you don’t have to tip toe around or choose your words carefully because when we are stressed or emotional it can be difficult to find the exact words that describe your frustrations. Your venting buddy is a trusted partner that no matter what you say to them, it won’t come back to bite you at some point in the future. Or put in simple terms.
“What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas”
Let’s be clear, your venting buddy isn’t someone to lash out to, or share nasty or vindictive thoughts to, and if you have those on a consistent basis maybe the place you are employed isn’t a good fit for you. But let’s be honest, even the best organizations can create stress and frustration in the way they go about doing their business. That’s why we PAY people to be there and call it WORK.
A true venting buddy relationship isn’t just a one-way deal. You have to be willing to reciprocate the role and be a venting buddy to your partner when they experience stress and need a neutral third party to hear them out. Too many times, in the workplace a venting buddy relationship only serves one party’s needs, which will get old fast. One side simply wears out their welcome and becomes a dumping ground for the other person’s issues and insecurities.
Remember your venting buddy isn’t your phycologist and gets to have their own opportunity to share the frustrations they experience as well.
I would also add a disclaimer. Please, do not have your Venting Buddy be the person you go home to every night. Those people deserve the best from you, and are a big reason you work so hard in the first place. If that person happens to be your current venting buddy, ask yourself, is this really how I want to engage with the person that I claim is the most important person in my life?
So, this week ask yourself a valuable question.
Who is my venting buddy in the workplace?
How do I engage with them?
Am I reciprocating the relationship and allowing them to vent as well?
Have I made my life partner a venting buddy? What will be the long-term impact of that?
If you don’t’ currently have a venting buddy, who are some people in or out of the organization that could fill the role?
Until next time
Cheers to you and your continued success
And finding a venting buddy
One Quarter Turn at a Time
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