The Right Fight

Do you think it’s possible for 2 people to look at the exact same thing and see completely different outcomes? Of course right?

Let me ask you this, is it possible for 2 people to look at the exact same thing, see completely different outcomes and both be right?

You probably said yes again, but let me ask you one final question.

If you agree that both those situations are possible then why do we always seem to get ourselves into “the right fight?”

You know what I’m talking about, both parties are right yet neither is willing to concede that the other may be right as well.

If you have never been in “the right fight” then I would say you have probably never been married or have a significant other in your life.

Like many of you I know I’ve found myself in this situation more than once. In fact just a few weeks ago my wife and I were having a discussion, and I was clearly right (in my own mind) but I began to realize that my being right was clearly hurting her feelings, and that certainly wasn’t the outcome I was looking for.

Still is was hard for me to let go of my rightness in that situation. The challenge here is that for one party to be deemed “right” what does the other party have to be? You guessed it WRONG!

How many of you enjoy being told you are wrong? I thought so.

Are you the type of person that feels you always need to be right, or for that matter feels the need to prove to the rest of the world that you are right? Do you find yourself constantly on a mission justify your “rightness” in many situations, defending your “right” positions, and creating conflict with your brilliant ability to be right in every and all scenarios?

If you said yes to any of those then I want to ask you a final value based question: have you ever been in a situation where you were absolutely 100% right about something and still didn’t get the outcome you were looking for? How did that work for you?

Look there are many people out there that love to celebrate the fact that they are right, and judge themselves in most every situation on their ability to be right. The problem is they often find themselves with outcomes they don’t intend, and people around them feeling put down, let down, or shut down because they are tired to being made to feel wrong all the time for this person’s rightness.

Successful people and leaders have a unique ability to put aside their own competitive need and desire to be “right” in order to get the outcomes and results they are looking for. While that may sound very simple, it’s actually one of the biggest obstacles to overcome in our journey towards success. Sadly it’s an obstacle that many talented, intelligent people never seem to overcome. A good friend of mine once told me “you can be right, or you can have great relationships but you can’t have both.”

Ask yourself, are you willing to sacrifice your need to be right to get the outcomes you are looking for. Can you concede that someone else may have a better solution that is different from yours but still gets the same or an even better result? If you want to build a strong team at work, a better relationship at home, create buy-in everywhere, then start by focusing on outcomes and letting go of the need to be “right.”